Talk:Padrino Part 22/@comment-4080028-20131103191736
Seems you were busy while I was sleeping. lol Right, let's get this review under way, shall we? I like how the action's dying down in what feels like just the right way to me. It isn't happening too fast and yet it isn't happening too slowly either. It's moving at just the right pace. Things getting calmer while there's still a bit going on, etc. etc. You managed to make me feel pity for Lee there, despite his betrayal. I'm not sure if that was the intent or not, but if it was, then you did a great job at that. If not... well, I have nothing to say about that. lol Of course though, I did feel how awkward it must have been for Chio, and frustrated Usagi must have felt, when dealing with Lee's change of heart. Might not be as painful as it was when Lee announced his betrayal, but I can imagine the pain's still there. One of those 'too soon' types of moments. Now that I think about it, it almost feels like a classic tale of friendship, bonds and betrayal. Though maybe I'm thinking too deeply into the matter? lol Moving along, I enjoyed Hanuman's display of bigfoot might. The idea of mechanical sea kings sounded awesome too. Also, do you remember everything I said about The No Beard Pirates last chapter? About how I'm feeling more hopeful that they'll turn into great characters? You made me feel that way again, but this time with Hanuman. Even if it was just for a brief period of time within the chapter, just a small scene, it really opened my eyes to what I could do with the big lug. Guess it's refreshing for me to look from the outside in when it comes to my characters, as opposed to always seeing them from the inside out. Next scene; well, I already mentioned the action and the events surrounding Gonzo Lee playing out, but in the midst of that, when I saw Lee call Usagi "big foot," I almost expected Hanuman to speak up out of protest. lol Like if he thought it was used derogatively or something. Speaking of the Jollys, it was interesting to see Juuri make such a bold move like that. As usual, I'll leave anything regarding Hope to Caring. She made Hope, not me, so Caring would know Hope better than I would. Though in my opinion, I've been concerned that Hope was going to be the weakest link in the crew, so having Juuri target her made the most sense to me. It also proves my point that it's fine and all for Hope to be a non-combative type of person, but if she doesn't become allowed to be assertive and strong like any of the other weaker Jollys (take Glory for example,) she's going to find herself in trouble like this far more often. But enough of my preaching. Back to the commentary. Seeing Spike attack Juuri was fun for me to read. It reminded me of when I first joined Ship of Fools and began work on Spike. Back then, I considered his more energetic, adrenaline-fueled self to be almost like a psychotic brute; and reading Spike get so violent and enjoying it brought that to my mind. Take it how you will, but I find that there's a fine line between enjoying yourself in the middle of a dangerous situation and acting kind of like a nasty thug. In other words, I had no problem with Spike and all, but there's that part of me that felt like he was acting sadistic. Not exactly a character trait I had in mind for Spike in these past two years. I was happy to see Hope manage to get out of that situation herself, since I'm obviously still worried about her in general. And it was pretty sweet to see Spike ease up for her. Reminds me of some jokes I had of him falling victim to the cuteness of Peabody Karen, back when I had her as the Jollys' nurse and helmsman. Think of her as the previous incarnation of Hope. I just find it hilarious when a tough guy like Spike falls for something so cute when done in a comedic style, but at the same time, endearing and touching when he comes to someone like Karen or Hope's aide and gives in to their pleas; like if he were a doting older brother to them in a sense. Also, on a side note, for whatever reason, I liked seeing Chris grow upset with the hostage situation. It felt so in character to me that I couldn't help but feel satisfied enough with the scene in mind and inform you of all this. And one last thing before moving on; I always pictured Spike's Kentrosaurus scales being brown in color, not green. It's pretty difficult for me to imagine him colored like that when transformed, so do you mind if that small little detail gets edited to say that the coloration is brown? I don't really mind either way if it's you who does it or me. Though I feel I should apologize if I didn't make it clear from the start. I take full blame for that one. Well, it's getting to be that time again. End of the comment. Before I say my final words of encouragement, I'll say this; I felt it was nicely done with how Rinji prepared everyone for their plan to stop Jossu (whom I had forgotten was supposed to be the center of all this, back when we discussed the collab months ago. <_< I had lost the forest among the trees since then.) Like, if there was a way to have a main character end a chapter, that's a cool way to do it. And even still, with him seeing his former crewmate back up in the crow's nest, it just felt like another nice touch. I could really feel the subtle heaviness that came with Rinji as captain, trying to work out what to do with his crew's traitor. Good chapter, man. Good luck on writing up the next one. Oh! And I'm glad that me not being on the chat didn't get in the way of you completing Part 22, since I know I would probably have been asked about Chris' laugh. :P